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Heather  00:00

I think where it really came down to it as we were, I remember being really excited, because I think we felt like we were going to be stronger together than apart. And, you know, buying a home was a big deal, and court brought a little bit more money into that transaction when it came to the down payment, but my income also helped contribute to that. And so I remember, even though we were a little bit uneven in the footing and the initial investment in the home. I remember it feeling very fair and level. And I think for me, it was just we're stronger together than we are apart, and we wanted to get that started as early as possible. Yeah, it's

Court  00:34

not our first rodeo. So we're very in tune with with one another, and we're comfortable talking about our finances and know what our spending habits are and what's important to us.

Natalie Slagle  00:54

Welcome to Money Dates, the podcast that makes money. Conversations with your partner feel a little less taboo. I'm Natalie Slagle, a certified financial planner, and I'm joined by my husband and business partner, Dan Slagle, also a Certified Financial Planner. Say Hi, Dan, hello. In each episode, we'll share honest stories and practical tips to help you and your partner feel more connected and confident on your financial journey. So grab your drink, get comfortable and join us for our money dates.

Dan Slagle  01:24

Today, on money dates, we sit down with court and Heather. Court and Heather are a married couple with a fun, energetic, two year old. Court and Heather are in their second marriage and have decided to manage finances differently. This time around, they combine their finances, something we see reluctance to when it comes to a second marriage, court and Heather are also in their peak earning years. They share how they avoided lifestyle creep, despite having such an increase in income over the past few years. Court and Heather, welcome to Money

Court  01:52

dates. Thank you. Excited to be

Natalie Slagle  01:56

here Heather. Court, we want to hear from you like, what do you for work. What keeps you busy after work? Heather, why don't we start with you?

Heather  02:05

Yeah, thanks. Natalie, I'm a director at a financial technology or FinTech for short, company. We specialize in lending and new account software to power banking experiences for small to mid sized financial institutions. I've spent my entire career in retail banking in some capacity, and about five years ago, I took a detour from the credit union space and entered into FinTech when I am not working. I will say you can find me doing one of three things, and that, eating a snack, taking a nap or reading a book, if I'm not actively trying to maintain the status quo and happiness for my toddler.

Natalie Slagle  02:45

Yes, I mean, and that is a big, tall ask.

Dan Slagle  02:49

Sign me up for your top three hobbies like snacking. Number one, that's amazing.

Natalie Slagle  02:53

Quick follow up question, Heather, what book have you read? Or are you reading right now? That has been a good one for you.

Heather  03:01

Oh my gosh, so many I just finished a brand new book release called this story may kill you. It was a little bit thriller, a little bit mystery. And I did recently hear that Sarah J Moss is coming out with two new books in third theory. So I actually just started listening to book one on audiobook, so I can do a bit of a reread. I didn't love that series, and so I'm hoping by doing it on audio and trying to get hyped for the new releases, I might enjoy it a little bit more.

Natalie Slagle  03:31

Oh, that's great. I know I'm so pumped for that. I I'm very, very pumped for that. We'll just leave it at that, so I don't have a whole tangent about that book series and how someone needs to pick it up. It needs to turn into a show or a movie. Okay, anyways, going on to you court, tell us a little bit about you know your work and what you're doing after work.

Court  03:53

Yeah, so I work for a global supply chain company. I've been involved with the supply chain. Throughout my professional career, I like working with people all over the world, and I work on their product team focused on our customers. Digital experience like Heather, our two year old, keeps us very busy, but it's a really fun age right now, lots of new things outside of work. I like to lift weights. I watch a lot of Portland Trail Blazers, basketball. I like to do some video gaming, to kind of zone out from the workday and in fatherhood at times,

Natalie Slagle  04:38

just like go into your pretend world. Yes, exactly, a world different than the professional and personal life. Well, thank you so much again for being on our show. We're excited to chat with the two of you. I know you know, we've had conversations prior to this recording about just the two of you. Having a marriage before the two of you were married, and one thing that you shared that I was like, Oh, this would be really good to chat about on the podcast, was how you two have decided to attack your finances collectively, right? So you're keep you look at it cohesively. And from our professional experience. When we've worked with whether it's couples or or someone who's not partnered, talk about their money after a marriage, post divorce, there tends to be this, oh, I'll never do that again. I'll never commingle like I've seen that be more common than the approach the two of you have where you like it just seems like you approach it so well together. So could you just give us some background about maybe what led you to deciding, hey, let's merge our finances and work on this together despite your past relationships.

Heather  05:58

Yeah, I feel like for me, my first marriage actually really informed how I am with money. In my marriage to court, I got married pretty young, so I think I was 26 but we had been together for about seven years before that, and so I was the primary money manager. And so when we split up. That individual had no idea what bills we had, what our income looked like, what our expenses were, how to go pay the bills, and we owned a home together, and they kept the home. And so I helped them refinance the home and put it into their name so that they could comfortably, you know, maintain the payment and not have to move, but I also really felt like I was in a position of having to educate them on how to pay bills once I was gone, and that was a bit of a shame on me situation. And in the beginning, I really liked it. I liked being in control. I liked making sure everything was paid and taken care of. But then over the years, I definitely grew a little bit resentful around that arrangement, because, on the flip side, I was the one shouldering all the responsibility and the burden for the financial household, and I wasn't earning as much money as I am today, and so there wasn't as much to go around so that, at times, could make things a little bit uncertain. And so I knew in any future relationship or marriage that I really wanted to be on equal footing with my partner, and not just for my benefit, but for their benefit as well. And so that was something that I was always really interested in talking about as I dated beyond that, and, you know, had different partners, and I've always felt like I was closer to and had a more comfortableness, I guess, or more of a comfort talking about money, just because I worked in money like I saw people's bank accounts all day, I would see their credit reports, I knew their debts and their assets. And so I definitely had a comfort that not a lot of people possess, but it's always a curiosity that I have too of what is your financial picture look like? I think that was something that court and I really started talking about pretty early on, because I was really clear that I wanted to be on the same page when it came to that topic.

Natalie Slagle  08:17

Yeah, well, and I'm sure your your previous partner was really grateful that you took that time to educate them. Because I feel like when you're splitting up, I don't know, I mean, my past relationships, I would have been like, see you later. Figure it out yourself. So, I mean, that was really kind and and sometimes I feel like we hear a lot about people who are like, Oh, I got access to this money, and I know nothing about it, but we don't always hear from the perspective of, well, I was actually the one who knew everything, and I decided to educate my partner, even if, if we were deciding to go separate ways, so that that must have been just kind of an interesting way to go about it. Court. What about for you? What was like your relationship with money, first with your partner, I

Court  09:02

think we were both on similar fronts. I think I had just more of an interest in the finances and taxes and things like that. But it wasn't this, like total lack of awareness or anything like that. I think more so when, when I met, met Heather, I was at a point in my life where I was very fixated on budgeting and in tracking my expenses, and was an avid user of YNAB. And, you know, we still still use it today, maybe a fraction of what we did,

Natalie Slagle  09:40

but I think she, Heather, did you

Heather  09:43

like meet that energy? No, I hate budgeting. Budgeting brings about, for me this like scarcity mindset, and I actively rebel against it. So if you tell me I have no money left in a category. Sorry, that does not demotivate me from spending. It does the opposite. And so that actually has been something that's been a very interesting dynamic between court and i is, he's very motivated and very committed to a budget framework, whereas I'm not. So over the years, we've had to figure out, how do we blend that together in a way that gets him what he needs, but also gets me what I need, so that it's not a stressful or a negative thing for either of us, and instead we see it as a tool. But no, it took me a bit to come on board with him, and I actually have some very like, vivid core memories, core of like our old apartment and sitting there and like, looking at your budget and looking at my budget,

Dan Slagle  10:43

what came of those conversations when you were when you were, like, cross analyzing each other's budgets?

Heather  10:49

That's a good question. I think, like it was a really interesting time too, because I had just sold the home that I owned by myself, and so for one of the first times in my adult life I had a lot more income compared to expenses than I had previously. Because when I got divorced, you know, I became a single income household, and I eventually bought a home again on my own, but I definitely just didn't have as much at the end of the month after my expenses as I would have liked. And so when I moved in with core, I mean, my expenses were slashed greatly because of that, simply, and then we didn't, I didn't, I just didn't have a lot of expenditures. So that was when I really felt like, for the first time, I could actually actively save towards some sort of a goal, like buying a home with core or taking a trip. Whereas before, I'd always spent very differently than him, so I think that he's always had a lot of cash to make the purchases, and I would always float them a little bit more with, like a credit card or something. I'd always pay it off, and that was never the issue, but I never, always had the money up front. I think that was something I always really liked about court and I wanted to get closer to that, because I really liked his style is he didn't really use debt so much to keep his lifestyle moving, and said it was a tool that he used in other ways. Yeah, I think

Court  12:15

too, like that, having those early budget conversations, or just showing Heather, hey, look at my budget. Look. Look how I'm doing. Look at this category I created. I think it, it started the topic of being comfortable talking about finances even early. I don't know when it started in our

Heather  12:40

Oh, I do. We were, it was August. We had been dating about six months, and I remember court got into y NAB, which, if you don't know, it stands for, you need a budget, and it's they've got their own philosophy behind budgeting, but they have a really slick tool, and we've subscribed to it now for six years. But I remember because his friend got into it. So he did too. And then I also, you know, again, wanted to try and, you know, be better with my money. I was inspired by him. I'm like, Oh, here's this great guy. And like, he's got it together. And like, I have a little room to improve too, so I'll try what he's trying. So that was really early on. That was, like, barely six months

Natalie Slagle  13:17

in, and you hadn't joined finances at this point. No, so did have had there? Did you? Did you create your own? YNAB, yeah, and did you keep up with it?

Heather  13:30

I have ever since. And then we combined everything. So that would have been August 2019 and we bought our home in June 2021, and we combined our finances right around that, because that was important to me, if we were going to buy a home together, and we knew we were heading towards marriage, that we combine our finances and so, yeah, we probably manage them independently for about two years from that point before we combined everything.

Natalie Slagle  13:54

So did you combine your finances before you got married? Yeah, that's a big decision. I feel like we chat with people all the time who've been married for three years, and they're like, We still haven't really, like, looked at each other's finances. And I, you know, obviously, from my seat, I'm like, how have you not but I mean, at least, look, you don't have to combine things. But that's a really purposeful decision. How did you come about. I think you kind of alluded it. Alluded to it. Heather saying, well, if I'm going to buy a house with you, I want to know what's going on financially. Was that it, or was there more? Can you talk to me about that decision to combine prior to being married?

Heather  14:34

I think for me, I mean, one of the things, and like looking back to you've been married before, you didn't have a lot of reluctance. That's surprising. I think the one thing that was, you know, really wonderful for both of us and court. I don't want to speak for you, but we had very amicable divorces, and neither of us were left with any bitterness or any trauma surrounding those separations, the financial aspects of. It. When I got divorced, we were in a position where we had no debt besides the house. It was very easy to split things, like I mentioned. I helped him refinance the home. I positioned him really well, because that was important to me, and so I think that really helped us, because we weren't taking a lot of baggage in that area into these relationships. But I think where it really came down to it as we were, I remember being really excited, because I think we felt like we were going to be stronger together than apart. And, you know, buying a home was a big deal, and court brought a little bit more money into that transaction when it came to the down payment, but my income also helped contribute to that. And so I remember, even though we were a little bit uneven in the footing and the initial investment in the home, I remember it feeling very fair and level. And I think for me, it was just we're stronger together than we are apart, and we wanted to get that started as early as possible.

Court  15:57

Yeah, yeah. I think, like, it's not our first rodeo, so we're very in tune with with one another, and we're comfortable talking about our finances and know what our spending habits are and what's important to us financially. And so yeah, like Heather said, it felt exciting. It was kind of like, okay, we do this. It will make the mortgage process easier and all the downstream things, and that's kind of the next, next step to kind of move us forward from, like, a relationship standpoint. It felt like, yeah, this will simplify things. We can go down to one budget. You don't have to have multiple budgets. And now we'll have to be like sending money back and forth to each other for stuff. And it just it seemed more practical. I don't think there was a lot of at least on my side, there wasn't a lot of emotion behind that. Decision. Is much more just this makes sense. This is my partner. We're going to combine our money together. And yeah, it didn't feel like this big, like hurdle, but it did feel like, Hey, we're moving, we're progressing forward in a meaningful way.

Dan Slagle  17:18

It sounds like finances have always been a common interest for the two of you, and maybe made that, like your relationship even stronger at the get go. I'm curious, do you feel like we're if you recall, you know, I know we're talking several years ago, but was there a specific event that led the two of you to be more open and non judgmental with how you handled your finances. Was there anything that you brought to your relationship where it felt like, hey, I need to be transparent about this. I want to be more upfront about this specific financial item.

Heather  17:52

Are you referring to what I shared with Natalie? Dan, feel like you're baiting me here. Yeah, I'll share. I do have a scenario that I did think about, that I shared with Natalie, and I don't know how much this stands out in court's memory, and I don't think we've ever talked about it again. So this might be really opening up a can of worms. But before, you know, before I met court, I used a 401 k loan as a tool to consolidate some debt. I can't even remember what it was for anymore, but I remember it was about 12,500 bucks. And I really liked it because the interest rate was very low. It came out of my paycheck. And for me, it was like 125 bucks a paycheck. And I just, I didn't even see it, right? And I thought, well, I'm never gonna leave this job. I love where I work, like I've grown here. I had worked there, you know, for 10 years. Well, I decided to leave, and I decided to move on. Well, when you do that, your 401, k loan either needs to be immediately paid back or it was going to be an early disbursement. And I was in a position, because we had been budgeting, I had been saving, I had lowered my expenses, where I had the cash to pay it off, but it was a good chunk of what I was going to bring to the table to buy a home, and I needed to let court know. And up until that point, I hadn't let court know, and primarily it was because I remember we had had some sort of conversation on the topic, and wherever that conversation ended resulted in me feeling a little shame about having this loan. And I was like, well, shoot, I don't want to tell him about it now. Plus it's not going to be he's never going to need to know. Well, he needed to know. And so I remember we took a walk one day, and I think it was deep in the pandemic, and I said, Listen, you know, there's something I haven't shared with you. I have this 401, k loan. I just paid it off, so that's it's not an issue anymore. But it was about $12,000 of the down payment, and that was really the only thing that I had ever kept from him financially. And it felt like a huge it was a huge burden for me to bear. And again, I thought I would never need to share it. It felt really, really personal, like I said, there was some shame wrapped up in it, and so that was something that we had to work through. And. And I know at the time, I really worried that it was going to damage, like, his trust and his faith in me in terms of, like, the rest of the money stuff. So, yeah, I don't know, court, if, if you remember that, or what your thoughts were.

Court  20:11

I mean, honestly, had you not brought it up, I probably wouldn't remember it. If you were to ask, you remember

Natalie Slagle  20:19

the conversation? Do you remember it specifically?

Court  20:22

Court vaguely, I remember it, and I think that's where I know at the time. This is that phrase, you know, I'm not mad, I'm disappointed, but like, I was kind of more like, thumbed out or kind of annoyed, I know, but like, it didn't like, Rock Me or be like, Oh no, what am I getting into? I think it was more of, we all make mistakes as we grow up and we learn things financially, and like, Heather already took care of it. And yes, it was some cash. But like, we still have plenty of cash to still do what we wanted to do. Had it been, you know, 120k or something like that, that's a very different story, right? The magnitude and the impact it would have on, you know, our first home purchase together.

Dan Slagle  21:17

It's just amazing that, you know, Heather, from your perspective, going into it, and you mentioned feeling like a sense of shame or guilt around it, then court would, as Heather was bringing it up, like, you're like, I vaguely remember that. Yeah, yeah, you know, like, it's just so interesting some of these feelings that we have, and how good it feels to to be open about certain aspects that of whether it's financial or not, within within your life. Do you feel like this was a point in time where it allowed the two of you to be more open with each other and non judgmental about how you were handling your finances? I think so. Yeah.

Natalie Slagle  21:56

I mean, I think there's something to say, like court you were saying this earlier about, like, you two have just, you know, kind of, from the get go, you've been open about your money, but there's a lot of people that they have a great relationship, whatever great means to them, but it's still really difficult. Like, money could be the thing that's difficult to talk about. Like, what is it that the two of you have, whether it's your personalities and how they mesh. Like, what do you think about your personalities or your knowledge around finances? What is it that makes talking about money easier? I don't know if easy is the right word, but you know what I'm trying to say. Like, what makes it this more positive experience than maybe what some other couples deal with.

Heather  22:43

I've always enjoyed just reading about personal finance. I remember many years ago, I was very interested in Dave Ramsey, and so I would like watch his show and listen to the Collins and read his books. And then over the years, that evolved. And I, you know, really enjoy the personal finance subreddit. And there used to be this, it's still out there. I just don't read it anymore, but it was called Money diaries, and it was like an online people would submit, like, their spending and their life, day by day, in money. And I always really enjoyed seeing, like, how much people make, where they spend their money, what they choose to share about it. So I think for me, it's always just been a more big curiosity. Like, I I want to know how much people make and how much they spend and how much debt they have. Like, I wish there were just like little tickers above our head, and I can be like, oh, there's Natalie. She makes $20 an hour or whatever. I don't know. I just think it's really fascinating, because a lot of times you really can't judge based on somebody's lifestyle. I've seen people over the years at work that come in, and if I were to judge them, you know, I may think that they're like a high earner or a low earner, or whatever the case is, and a lot of times you're wrong. And so I think for me, it's really just been a curiosity more than anything. But I've also seen growing up how money can be very damaging when used incorrectly, or when you don't have a lot. And so that was something that I always took with me into my adulthood, was, you know, I wanted to have a good relationship with money, primarily meaning, like, I always wanted to make sure my bills were paid on time. That was something that was really important to me. And so I think that that's just fed into just like, I'm curious, and I think court, if I had to assess, you know, he's had a really healthy relationship with money growing up, like, I think that he had a lot of stability and and he's seen a different way that it can be used than I saw growing up. And so I think for him, it's not quite as emotional as it still is for me. And so he has a comfort talking about it, because it's never been really much more than just like an objective tool that he uses. Within his life,

Court  25:01

yeah, I think, I think for me, it's always been an interest, like I was in the finance club in college and did finance internships, and thought, yeah, maybe I'll go do finance, but then I like supply chain, so I've always had an interest. And I remember, you know, I got my first job as early as I could when I was 16, because then I would get get my own money, and then get to file my own taxes. I remember doing that early and just,

Dan Slagle  25:32

you know, who's one of the leading reasons you went to get a job at 16 or so you could that was

Court  25:39

part of it, like I had to then file taxes. But for me, I got to get a job that gave me my own money that I could spend on subway or teriyaki or whatever. And I was like, Oh, I like having having this money, but then you don't make a lot in high school and and then you start having to figure out, okay, well, I want to get x, y, z. Now I gotta start saving some of that money, but then you want to start spending it on friends, going out to eat or something like that. So think early on, like, like Heather said, I was fortunate to be very comfortable growing up as fortunate to be able to go get a job at at 16, but then having that kind of my own income at an early age, I think, helped me be comfortable with it, and think about how I want to kind of allocate that, that money, that's that's coming in, because there were definitely times when, through through college and right after college, that it was really tight on my own right, and I wanted to do a trip, I couldn't do a trip, and all that, that kind of stuff. But I think for a lot of things that it costs money. We both like to travel. We both like to go out and eat. I think us being comfortable with one another talking about money enables us to do those things, and so when we do go out to eat or when we do travel, we don't have any guilt about money that we're spending while we do that. And that's really worth it to me.

Natalie Slagle  27:23

What I'm hearing from, what the two of you just shared, is that before you can have a good relationship with money with your partner, you kind of need to have a good relationship with money in yourself, like the two of you are just kind of sharing like your own individual experiences and how you tried to make a healthy journey with money, with which I think a lot of folks have. Everybody has a different experience with money, and different scenarios impact people differently and and you too, it seems like have very intentionally chosen to, like, tackle this form of life, like we can't avoid it. Everyone has to deal with money, and so how can you deal with it with someone else, if your own relationship to money isn't right or isn't set up the way that that it needs to be? So that I really appreciate that perspective and then coming together and finding someone, and it's like, oh my gosh, you use YNAB. You are a smokin love that I was thinking about when Dan and I were dating, and when Dan and I were dating, we would, and we, we commingled our money, I think, before we were married to we were living together, and sorry, mom and dad and we, we were

Dan Slagle  28:35

living in sin. We were living

Natalie Slagle  28:36

in sin. And we, let's say we had $1,000 we'd be like, Okay, we have $1,000 to spend over the next two weeks. And then I would email him all of my predictions, okay, we'll probably spend $300 on groceries and $200 on gas. And I would be like, Okay, we really only have like, $287 Dan to spend on things that aren't planned. And the fact that he would respond to me and be like, Okay, sounds good, instead of like, you are crazy, which I I kind of, I don't know if, if that approach is something Dan found attractive. I think Dan has always learned for me to just be along for the ride and

Dan Slagle  29:17

just say Just say yes, just say

Natalie Slagle  29:18

yes, just say yes, but those are like initial signs,

Dan Slagle  29:24

yeah, and you know your ultimatum like Heather, it sounds like Heather. Your ultimatum with court was you need to use YNAB.

Heather  29:32

No, that was his ultimatum to me, yeah, that was court.

Dan Slagle  29:35

Sorry, yes, I said that back. It was

Natalie Slagle  29:36

actually, not actually,

Heather  29:39

but YNAB or Ow,

Dan Slagle  29:41

yeah, my my ultimatum was, How many kids do you want to have? And if my response was less than six, I was out.

Natalie Slagle  29:49

Oh yeah, that that was back before I knew how much kids cost, which, by the way, you two have a kid. And one of the things as we were prepping for this podcast and talking to the two. Of you about what to talk about. I was like, I'm really impressed that the two of you have had an increase in income, but like, you haven't had too much lifestyle creep. And Heather your your comment was, well, it's hard to have lifestyle creep when you have a kid and, like, as your income goes up and then you have daycare, but I think that's that's still a choice in a way. I know I

Heather  30:25

got that after I said that, I'm like, well, but it is lifestyle creep, because I was like, oh, when we got, I remember when we got, we started getting a daycare bill, and it was like $2,400 a month the first one, we had both just had some sort of a change in our income that absorbed a good chunk of that. And I remember thinking, like, whoa, great timing. Like, look at that. Like, we don't have to worry. But that is creep like, you know, it's, it's something that we obviously wouldn't change. And it's very different than, like, the conscious choice to, like, go buy a new house because you're making more money. But I think that we've definitely had a little bit of that. But it's not in the overt things. It's not like, Oh, look at they're driving a nice new car, they got a bigger home, or they're taking all these flashy trips. It's like, we're funding daycare, and we're funding her 529 and we're putting money aside for her, and so our lifestyle is certainly adjusted because of that, but in a way that maybe you don't I don't necessarily realize, without thinking through it a little bit more

Natalie Slagle  31:35

court, what would you agree or disagree to that?

Court  31:38

Yeah, I think that's pretty on, on par, like, I think we're at a point where we are very comfortable, and I feel like we're, you know, in our daily lives, we're, we kind of have what we have. We're not love our house, cars run and Yeah, mostly with the kid, that's a lot more expenses, but it's your kid. You're gonna gonna pay what you need to for them to have the best life they they can. And so it just, it doesn't feel like maybe traditional lifestyle creep that that you hear kind of like Heather's saying, where? Okay, well, Heather got a big raise. Let's go buy a new Mercedes or Porsche or something like that. Let's, let's go get vacation home or something

Natalie Slagle  32:40

like that, right, right, right. Well, I think the lifestyle creep for the two of you was that you were able to afford daycare, which, like, let's be honest, that's on the gross end, you would have to make $40,000 to afford 30 grand of daycare. So that's a huge amount of income. And I think there's something to say that when you put a child in daycare and you don't, maybe you don't see a huge you're also not seeing the huge increase in your living expenses. Or, you know, I mean, for the two of you, but you're also not. You two aren't sitting down looking at YNAB and saying, daycare has started, we need to find $2,500 in our budget to cut, yeah, because now daycare has started, that's like, What great timing that you're able to send your daughter to daycare, but not having to chop expenses to make up for it? Yeah? And maybe you did. I don't, I don't know, like you tell me, did? Did you have to? Did you look at your expenses and say, Okay, where are we cutting now that daycare has started?

Court  33:48

I don't think so, but I think the timing was good and just where we are in our careers and lives, like had we had our child when we first started dating, it probably would have been a different conversation for us to look at. When it

Heather  34:04

would have been a different exploration of like, what are our options like, the place that our daughter goes to school now, maybe when it had been an option then, because daycare in our area is very expensive, I don't think we cut anything, but it certainly keeps us in check, and like it does, stop us now from doing things maybe, or buying things, or planning things that we otherwise might have, just because it is a large expense. And so I'm certainly looking forward to when she goes to kindergarten and we start to repurpose some of those funds, but it's also a really nice investment, at least for her to see you know where she is and where she spends her days, and how happy she is and how much she learns. So it's a trade off, and I think it's something too that we have to continuously confirm is important to us. Like. I am not interested in being a stay at home parent, and so that is something that, like, even if the option was presented to me, you know, oh, and you could stay home and not work, I don't really care for that. It doesn't excite me. So it's something that we choose to prioritize, and we make it work. And I think that we're in a position where we're still coming out quite a bit ahead. But to your point, Natalie, it's 40k gross a year. And so if circumstances changed, it could be something that we look at differently. But right now, we're really grateful to be in a position where we can afford that, and we want to afford that, and there's not another option that's more attractive to us.

Natalie Slagle  35:39

Yeah, if your daughter was not in the picture, what do you think you would be using that money for? My saving? More saving, yes, something boring,

Heather  35:52

more travel. Honestly. Yeah, I feel like our travel had we still get out and about, but we'd probably be doing it a little bit more.

Court  36:02

Yeah, I could see us, like, if I had a work trip somewhere, then paying for Heather to tag along, that kind of stuff, yeah,

Natalie Slagle  36:13

yeah, so it would still go out the door, and then maybe some of it saved.

Dan Slagle  36:17

Yeah, you've shared that your income has grown quite a bit over the last few years. And, you know, it sounds like a lot of it is going to daycare, which is, again, great. I do feel like there's this, like, I'll call it myth, of like, when our kids get to five and they go to kindergarten, that life is going to become less expensive because we don't have daycare costs. I have been I have been told from older parents, and they're like, they're just crushing our dreams where, because Natalie and I also have an almost two year old, they're just kind of crushing my dream, of like, oh, life's gonna be so much less expensive when the kid turns five, and then it's just like they're in all the activities, and like the money is going elsewhere. So I don't know what's if that's true or not. We're just going to have to wait a few more years and we'll report back. So Heather, you shared prior to this podcast that you recently were paid a bonus. I wanted to touch base with with the two of you on this topic, because I think it's really interesting, because when we asked what you would possibly do with the bonus income, I don't know if you necessarily, like, knew or you didn't like, say, like, I want to just send it all to travel. Like, what is it like for the two of you when you have additional income sources come in and you don't necessarily know what to do with the money? Like, how does that feel?

Heather  37:42

I feel very uncomfortable. But like, I think it takes some of the excitement out of it. Like, this is the first time in my life. I was telling you know, Dan and Natalie this recently, like, this is the first time I've gotten a bonus, and I don't already have a plan for it. Over the years and in my career, anytime I've gotten some sort of a bonus, it's needed to pay off debt, it's needed to pay for a trip, there's some sort of purpose that I've already earmarked it for before I get it. And so this was the first time that I was kind of like, I don't know what what am I to do with this? And so we were talking through those options. And I think it's really nice, like, place of comfort to ask myself that question and ask others that question, like, what do I do with it? But it also starts to feel like, as we're getting older, I'll be 40 next year, we've got to make sure we do the right things with it, and so I feel like there's a lot of responsibility with money that comes our way now that is not necessarily earmarked for a purchase, because I want to put it to work for me, because I'm so uncertain about, you know, what the future may hold, and you know I'm in technology, and how do advancements in technology influence the need for me and my position? And like all of those things are very relevant. And so I think now more than ever, I feel like such a responsibility to use my money in the right way so that it's there for me when I need it.

Natalie Slagle  39:06

Court, did it give you a sense of feeling uncomfortable? And I know it came from Heather's side, but based on this podcast, you two talk about things together, like, what was in the sensation when it was like, what do we do with this,

Court  39:21

I think it's a very fortunate place to be in to ask, like, what, what do we do and and even, like, in the past, like Heather said, when we have AD bonuses come in, they were always kind of earmarked for, you Know, a house or some sort of project, or car down payment, or something a big trip coming up, but it was a kind of an interesting point of reflection, to the degree of we have money, what's important to us right now to do it? Us money. And it wasn't necessarily an easy question to answer right away,

Natalie Slagle  40:08

I bet, because once your needs are met, then it does go to the wants, and then you want those wants to reflect your values and reflect what's important and and, and like you've your needs are met. And so then the options start to unravel, and and then it almost makes the decision that much harder, because, well, all the necessities are taken care of. So now I want to make the responsible decision, or the decision that is a good reflection of how we utilize our resources in this family. Well, that's all our questions for the two of you. This has been a really great conversation. I feel like I need, I need one more send off question, and what I want to know is just like, What are the two of you looking forward to next in your financial journey? Like, what's something that does you talked about something that made you uncomfortable? I want to hear something that maybe excites you about the financial decisions the two of you are making, and either one of you

Heather  41:10

can start. I'm really excited for our daughter in like, 20 years, because I think that we are going to position her to have a lot of freedom and autonomy and choosing what her future looks like. And I'm really proud of that, and I'm very grateful to be able to do that in court. And I both come from very different backgrounds, but one of the things that was true for both of us is we started working at a very young age. You know, I got my first job, sorry, sorry, court, but I was 14, working at McDonald little old Heather. But even still, I wanted to have my own money. I wanted to be, you know, be able to make some of my own decisions, even at such a young age. And a lot of that was out of necessity, not necessarily because I was, like, you know, this really entrepreneurial young girl. And so I'm really excited for our daughter and what we're doing today, and what that's going to mean for her when she's ready to go to college or enter some sort of a career, etc, whatever that ends up being for her. So that gets me really excited. I'm really proud of that, and I'm just tickled.

Court  42:20

That's great, I think for me, is we have some fun trips coming up, and we've worked hard in the last year to set aside money specifically for some trips, and so it'll be nice as a family and as a couple to go to some places that we've wanted to for some time, and just be able to enjoy where we go and with friends. So yeah, think

Heather  42:50

that's, I think, on that point too, just being in the position we are being able to spend some of that money on the people around us and the people that we love and family and nieces and nephew and being able to give back in some capacity and enjoy it a little bit, because I think we've both been working so hard, and we don't want to lose sight of the fact we're not doing it because it's our favorite thing to do. We're doing it because it helps us afford a life that brings us an immense amount of joy and pleasure, and pleasure, and so trying to make sure that we're using the money in that way too, and creating memories for for all of those around us.

Natalie Slagle  43:28

I love it. Heather court, thank you for joining us today. Yeah. Thank you.

Dan Slagle  43:35

Hey, if you've enjoyed this episode and are looking for personalized financial guidance, schedule a free complimentary consultation using the link in the description below, Natalie and Dan Slagle are the founding partners of Fyooz financial planning a registered investment advisor. The information provided in this podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered investment advice or a recommendation to buy or sell any securities investing involves risk, including the potential loss of principal. Advisory services are offered to clients or prospective clients where Fyooz Financial Planning and its representatives are properly licensed or exempt from licensure. For more information, including our disclosures, please visit our website at WWW dot fyooz financial.com.

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